How to Score at Home
The immediate temptation when grading a major
network on its content is to criticize it for the quantity of ads
it broadcasts. Let it be known right up front that Team
Rockwood thinks that NBC should run ads out the wazoo.
The fact is that NBC has done what most of you haven't, which is
pony up $2.2 billion to go up to Canada and show you pictures on
that idiot box in your living room. For free. If NBC needs to show
advertisements to pay for your lack of spending power, then by
God, you should watch them and be happy. That's the price you pay
for not going to Vancouver yourself.
However, the Rockwood 2010 Olympic Watch will still be documenting
this advertising time, if for no other reason than it qualifies as neither "events" nor "fluff." We
just want you to know how they stand. But once again, let us restate that under
no conditions will we tolerate any whining about all the ads they show on TV.
If you don't like it and you're an American, you don't even need a plane to
get to Vancouver. Hit the road and you can be there in a couple of days. Yeah,
that's what we thought. Have a seat.
With that said, what will we be grading? Essentially, it comes
down to two categories, events and fluff. Sometimes the two intertwine, in
which case, Team Rockwood will make a judgement call. Much
like the Olympics themselves, the decision of the judges is final, so no beefing
about that either.
Some of you may be asking "What's the difference between events and fluff?" Good
question. There are always exceptions, but here are some guidelines:
- Events are obviously competitions and only
competitions. If people are competing in an Olympic match, that
is an event.
- If the event the person on screen is competing
in is NOT at the Olympics, it is most likely fluff.
- Medal ceremonies, being something that only
happens at the Olympics themselves, will be counted as events.
- Video of past Olympics will be counted as
- Because there are so many events that no
one (not even members of Team Rockwood ) could
possibly watch them all, news about the current Olympics will
be counted as an event.
- Any story featuring someone who is NOT an
athlete is fluff.
- Any video that is posterized, mosaiced, overexposed,
purposely-blurred, or otherwise enhanced is fluff.
- Anything with a musical background intended
to enhance emotion is fluff.
- Interviews conducted immediately following
the event will be counted as events.
- Interviews conducted in dramatic lighting
will be counted as fluff.
These are just a handful of the rules that Team
Rockwood will be using during the games. In short, if
something is live and unpredictable, then it's an event. Anything
staged or obviously pre-recorded is fluff.
Any time two anchors are talking to each other instead of talking about what
happened qualifies as fluff. Of course, that could easily be your local news.
Finally, if there's something you want to tell
us about, just drop us a line in the Rockwood
Mailbag. You might also want to take a gander at the
comic strips. Hours of enjoyment, right here at your fingertips.
Isn't the web great?
Now, let's start watching!