March 5, 2007: Will: Skip? You're smoking cigars? Skip: Yet I'm still cutting down on pollution. Will: How so? The air is filled with smoke. Skip: Yes, but I bought some carbon offsets, so I can still be environmentally responsible. Will: That's the stupidest thing I've ever-- Skip: Careful, Dude. Your angry exhaling generates a lot of CO2. That's not very eco-friendly. March 7, 2007: Mitch: Skip, you're rich enough that you can afford to buy carbon offsets for anything you do, but I'm poor. I can't even afford to buy enugh carbon offsets to breathe normally. What do you say to that? Skip: If you can't afford to breathe, you can't afford to complain to me, Dude. March 9, 2007: Dana: I can't believe we have to buy carbon offsets just to breathe. Skip: At least you know I'll spend the money responsibly. Dana: "You'll spend...?" Skip, you own the carbon offset company? Skip: Of course, Babe! I generated the crisis, provided the solution, and now I'll make a huge profit on it! Dana: I can't believe you'd exploit people's fears for profit like that. Skip: I can't believe I never thought of a racket this good until now!