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May 2, 2011: Osama Bin Laden is dead! And just in case he doesn't get buried at sea, we here at Team Rockwood have some suggestions on what to do with his body. Put his head on a pike at ground zero. Have Little Bill put him in a coffin in the middle of town that says 'this is what happens to murderers around here.' Make him into bacon. Feed him to pigs.
May 4, 2011: Early morning on May 1. Osama Bin Laden: Check it out, guys. I got the new white iPhone! Bin Laden Henchman: Osama, did you turn off the location tracking?! Osama Bin Laden: The what now? Shooting. Aiee!
May 6, 2011: Osama Bin Laden: Where am I? Who are--? Gasp! Are you my 72 virgins?! Virgin 1: Hee hee! Yep! For all of eternity! Virgin 2: We're just headed for the hot tub! Osama Bin Laden: Ha ha! Great! I love hot tubs! Virgin 2: Oh, you can't come in. Osama Bin Laden: But I thought-- oh no! You'll be virgins... for all of eternity! Virgin 3: Wanna know the worst part? There are no cold showers down here!
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