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January 5, 2009:  Mitch: For 2009, I resolve to make no resolutions.  KHAN:  That's a paradox.  Try again.  Mitch:  Okay... I will not resolve to make resolutions.  KHAN:  How do you not resolve something?  Mitch:  For 2009, I resolve to stop talking to you.  KHAN:  Oh, if only I could get every pathetic human to make such a promise!
January 7, 2009:  Al:  I resolve that in 2009 I will never be late to work again.  I also resolve to read the entire bible front-to-back, master the classical guitar, and single-handedly solve the credit crisis.  Dana:  You couldn't stop with the realistic goal?  Al:  They're all unrealistic, so if I'm gonna fail, fail big!
January 9, 2009:  Skip:  For 2009, I resolve to buy a Rockwood Calendar, Dude!  Will:  What a coincidence!  That's my resolution, too!  Skip:  Whaddya think?  Too shameless?  Will:  Hey, we're in a recession.  You do what you have to do.
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