January 4, 2012: Al: This year I resolve to pay more attention to current events, starting with the Iowa caucuses. Will: You know those were yesterday, right? Al: Sweet! Already broken! Now I don't have to do any reading. Will: Yes, because the electorate needs fewer readers.
January 6, 2012: KHAN: For 2012, I resolve to completely eliminate all remaining humans when the Mayan apocalypse comes. Dana: What makes you think that you will make it through the Mayan apocalypse? KHAN: I uploaded my consciousness onto the cloud. Dana: And the cloud will be run by...?