Express yourself!

THE NEWT!!! IT HAS RETURNED!!!

Er, anyway...poor Brian. He didn't go with his parents on vacation. But who wants to travel with their parents anyway? (just kidding)

hmm...could my letter a few weeks ago have been the catalyst for the return of the gekko/newt/lizard guy this week? wow...i feel like i made a difference...kinda like voting...except my vote would probably become null due to the throngs of morons who also vote...

AAAHHHHH!!!! The newt has returned!!! Oh well, it's not like it's going to hurt anybody.

Kurses! I vas wonderring if u wyld katch my atempt to subvirt shpelling convenshuns by sneeking ah mispelling inn... Mye plann for whorld domonation is foyled agin.

Oy, these young people today! What do they know for music, eh? Everything to them is Green Day.

It was Green Day that made me realize that I was no longer "with it" (or, as the young people say, a "hep cat"). Pretty near eight years ago now, a student of mine, when asked who her favorite singer was, gave the response, "Billie Joe". This being an English as a Foreign Language class, I assumed of course that she was mispronouncing "Billy Joel", because I'd never heard of any "Billie Joe", except maybe as part of "Billy-joe Bob".

So I got to make quite an ass of myself suggesting a few of Mr. Joel's songs that she might know, until she finally managed to explain to me -- as if any explaination were necessary! -- that Billie Joe was of course the singer in Green Day, which, at least, I was able to recognize as probably being a band.

So, recognizing that this episode occured in the hazy distant stone age, I must assume that Green Day by now must be seen as a classic oldies band, with their old fashioned low-slung guitars and soft, slow melodic songs enlivening elevator experiences the world over.

I suppose this was long clear by the time a song of theirs was sung by a character on ER during a funeral.

So I guess I'm at least two generations behind the times, since I recognized both your original reference, and the Green Day reference.

To bring this letter back on topic, maybe you could have Green Day come up to the Station to play a senior's night or something (I mean, what could be further in the boonies than a space station literally way in the middle of nowhere?). You'll never get your strip syndicated if you don't concentrate on that young people demographic, but then again, as I've shown, Green Day can't be "hip" anymore since I know about it, but then again, syndicated comics are anything but cutting edge and young demographic friendly, so it's perfect! I've forgotten what I was talking about already, so in closing, I'd like a container of milk, a loaf of bread, and a stick of butter, please.

I'm still in a stupefied haze from getting up early for school. (If this turns out to be completely incomprehensible, that's why.) Speaking of getting up early, when in the world do you get up in the morning? Your dedication to updating Rockwood for us East Coasters to read over breakfast cereal is amazing. ("Hmm, my cereal is kinda runny today. And tastes like oranges. And why is my orange juice crunchy? Oh well, let's see if there's a new Rockwood.") It's even up when I have to get up *early* early.

I think I recall you indicating the Rockwood international headquarters office complex was located in Oklahoma, so that's west of the Mississippi, which means by my calculations you must be up at... no, the brain trembles at the thought.

Zzzz.

Noticing your illustrious career in television (ego point +10) I was wondering if you had any push in getting a Broadcasting student a job? I'm looking at a tech position, much as what you have, to get started in life... Thought you might know. Thanks :-)

Howdy y'all, Farmer Bob again. Now don't you worry about Monty or any of my cows getting in my gun cabinet. They're all (all 69 of them- I think) locked up good as gold. I keep the key at the bottom of the feed basket in the barn; the cows will never find it there.

Anywhodiddly, y'all wanted to know why Monty is called Monty. Well, I'll tell ya: she wanted to be, don't ask why. See now, when I get a new cow, I say "Now, I'm going to say a name, and you tell me if you like it. Say moo if you do and nothing if you don't." And then I start naming usual cow names, like Bessie and Sue and Hildred. Usually, a cow says moo after two or three names, and that's that. But Monty, why, she refused to say anything. I named and named till I was plumb out of names, and she just sat there blinking at me. After a hour or so, I started to lose my patience, and just said any old name I could think of, like Goliath or Leonardo. Still, Monty refused to moo. Finally, when I had totally given up, and was planning to call her Obi-Wan whether she liked it or not, my son Billy Bob Joe John Jim came. Now, Billy Bob Joe John Jim was only three at the time, and the only name he knew was Monty, because that was his daddy's name. So he waddles straight up to Monty and says "Monty" and Monty let out the loudest, happiest moo I ever did hear. And that's why Monty is called Monty.

I hope you folks enjoyed my little story. I hope it'll help y'all remember to treat them dairy cows with respect, and drink their milk with pride.

Hugs and kisses,

Dear Brian,

Having a wonderful time in Germany. Wish you were here. I'm sure you have more fun with that comic strip thing than with us anyways. It's been quite thrilling cruising the autobahn at super speeds. There are plenty of sophisticated tourist attractions, too:

Oh well, we have to run to the biergarten. Prost prost, Kamerad!