Rockwood: The Rockwood Mailbag.

The Rockwood Mailbag

Express yourself!

Have you always wanted to let Team Rockwood know just what you were thinking? Do you wonder why the panels of the strip are laid out horizontally instead of vertically? Or do you have sensitive documents that will bring down the government? In any case, we want to know! Just fill out your name and e-mail address, then let 'er rip! No question or comment is too bizarre for Team Rockwood to take a stab at, and if we can get enough mail coming in, this page will be updated weekly! (Unlike the old mailbag page, which got updated about four times in two years.)

So consider this an experiment in web interactivity. Or, consider it a way to artificially inflate our hit count. Either way, just write in!

Updated on September 10, 2002
		September 3, 2002 "Unless, of course, you get in front of the camera. Those people have it made!" You missed a prime opportunity to link to... oh, say an article about Katie Couric's billion dollar salary... Oh, well, at least you were able to take it easy for Labor Day. --JMB:)
		Well, JMB, there's your link. We didn't mention Katie's salary before because quite frankly we don't care what NBC pays her (incidentally, you might want to avoid in math as her salary is only six percent of a billion dollars). That's their business, not ours. And we got paid plenty for our little microphone gig. Why, we were able to take the whole family out to eat!
		September 3, 2002 I need to know how to contact "grumpy old man". His reference to "a container of milk, a loaf of bread and a stick of butter" is a not-so-thinly-veiled reference to a Sesame Street skit used to communicate with the muppets not yet beamed down to the planet during the early 70's. His knowledge of this operation may indicate he has sensitive documents capable of bringing down the government. He must be stopped. --Ken
		Unfortunately, Ken, this web site is not secure. However, we realize the gravity of this situation and have come up with a plan to get you the information you need. By backtracing your IP address, we were able to determine your location. We have assembled the requested documents and forwarded them via certified messenger to your local police department for safe keeping (obviously, we can't provide that address here, but you know where you are). Report immediately to the front desk. Once there, an "officer" will ask if he can help you. Reply (and make sure you use this exact phrase), "I like my toast with marmalade." The "officer" will reply by saying "Excuse me?" At this point, do not repeat the marmalade line again. This is a trap to catch potential al Qaeda members. Instead, say "Flying squirrels make excellent housepets." The "officer" should give you a knowing look and invite you to follow him. Do so. When he shows you to a cell, look under the bunk. We've written the information you requested on a fruit roll-up attached to the bottom of the bed. Memorize it, then eat the evidence. Once you have successfully completed all of these steps, indicate that you are ready to leave to the guard on duty by barking like a dog (a large-breed, like a German Shepherd). Let us know how this all turns out!
		September 3, 2002 As a young person, I must say I don't normally consider Green Day a golden oldies band. Like, that one with the British dudes named after bugs could be. Or what about the stuff by Simon and G-funk? Oh, before you ancient grumps lynch me, how about I explain the idea of sarcasm? --Elizabeth
		Do you refer to that bug band that had last year's top selling album? Geez... we mention music one time and suddenly everyone has to let you know their opinions. However, we do think that if Art Garfunkel ever wants to make a big comeback, he should use "G-Funk" as his new hip-hop name. Maybe he could work with P Diddy!
		September 3, 2002 SUM 41?!!!?? Have you listened to any of their lyrics? Most it's just a cheesy rehash of things that have been said by pretty much all Punk-pop bands, and punk bands before them. If anything they are conforming to the evil image that has disgraced modern "punk". You should try No-FX! Anyone who boycotts music video channels and writes about "eating lamb" has to at least rank as "fair". --Dave
		Team Rockwood has always found it humorous that punk bands' fans argue about whose band is the "purest" with "pure" defined as poor. We don't think that the degree of a band's anti-establishment necessarily corresponds with the quality of their music. Furthermore, we don't think that people listen to music for the lyrics. Yes, we know dozens of you are going to argue differently (most likely in long-winded paragraphs without punctuation), but admit it... you wouldn't be listening to NOFX's lyrics if they were put to The Carpenters' music, would you? You like it because it's got a good beat and you can dance to it. Or, in this case, mosh to it. So, to answer your question, no, we haven't listened to any of Sum41's lyrics. We're having way too much fun with their songs to care.
		September 7, 2002 Why isn't the six-foot tall newt on the Who's Who page? I think it's more popular than KHAN the computer. Of course, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Just because KHAN has the robot code not to harm humans, doesn't mean he can't go after reptilian freaks. Don't mention this to him, OK? --Wallbat
		Why no Newt? Uh... because we're lazy? We might get him up there someday, but he really hasn't appeared that much yet, and we kind of like the mystery.
		September 9, 2002 Dear me! You don't really think the far left are morons, do you? You're not a...a... a CONSERVATIVE, are you? Oh dear... --Student Protester
		Of course we are! You mean you're not? (Actually, we're right-leaning centrists... you can find out what you are here The far left are morons! If it makes you feel better, the far right are morons also, but since --by definition-- they shun organization, it makes it harder to find web sites devoted to them. The key word here is "far." Go far enough to the right and you encounter anarchy and chaos. Too far to the left and you get state-sponsored totalitarianism. We prefer neither, but if we had to choose, we think we'd have a lot easier time defending ourselves against an anarchic, chaotic neighbor than we would against a fascist government-run army. Thus, the lean to the right.
		September 9, 2002 Um...Farmer Bob? I didn't think farmers had computers on their farms... --Shadow
		Do you also think food comes from the supermarket? Despite the popular impression that farmers are hicks and city folk are all-knowing, we at Team Rockwood find that increasingly, urban dwellars have no idea at all what goes on beyond the outer ring of the freeway, while the country kids, thanks to the internet and cable TV, know everything about everyone in the city. In fact, the first time we saw the internet put to good use (as opposed to old black-and-white GIF porn), was about eight years ago on a farm. This was pre-world-wide-web. For that matter, even the farmer's vehicles are more technologically advanced than what you're driving. Now, we realize you were just joking, but in the future, before you tease farmers based on your misperceptions of their computer skills, you should think about what the farmers are saying about you.
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