Saturday, February 7, 2026

Grandpa Snoop in the hizzouse.

How have we never noticed his interview style before?

---

• We start the night with a replay of Italian Francesa Lollobrigida winning gold in 3000M speed skating. She's the grand niece of actress Gina Lollobrigida, who I really only know from having heard of her in Bugs Bunny cartoons. "Ducka you heada, lowla bridgeada!"
• Maria Taylor is live from California, because there's some kind of football game going on there tomorrow. Perhaps you've heard of it?
• Anyway, on to not-really-live-but-we're-going-to-pretend events. Terry Gannon, Johnny Weir, and Tara Lipinski will be our hosts at the skating Team Event. I like Johnny and Tara. They clearly know their stuff and are good at explaining it, even if I'm not that good at understanding it. The one thing I did catch was that the team with the most points will win gold. That might be the one thing I DIDN'T need to have explained to me.
• The first part of the Team Event is the Men's Short Program. The extent of my knowledge: falling down is bad. These guys don't fall often, so I'm reliant on Johnny and Tara to tell me who's doing well.
• Snoop time! He's "Snooping Around Italy" with American skater Ilia Malinin, the "Quad God." Snoop is wearing a shirt with Ilia's picture on it. Would you wear a shirt with a picture of a person you're about to meet for the first time? Well, no, you wouldn't, because you're not Snoop. Anyway, Snoop wants to see what Ilia can do, so they go to the rink and Snoop watches Ilia skate. He even does a back flip. Aren't those illegal? Maybe they're not. What do I know? Snoop is impressed. Did you know Snoop is a grandpa? Watch these interviews he does with people. Doesn't he seem like the cool grandpa every time he talks to people? Now you won't be able to get that image out of your head.
• And now it's time for Ilia to skate for real. He's dressed like someone from The Road Warrior. Well, a sparkly Road Warrior, it is figure skating, after all. I imagine the Lord Humungus would have a sparkly outfit somewhere. Ilia does a back flip. Huh. I guess they're not illegal. But he only gets second place. "Only." Like second in the world is bad.
• NBC airs an ad for "The Odyssey," the new Christopher Nolan film, maybe one of the only things I'm looking forward to more than the Olympics. And now Matt Damon, star of the movie, is standing in front of the Duomo reciting some fluff. Does NBC have a tie-in with Christopher Nolan or is this just a coincidence? Whatever, it's fluff for you, Matt Damon. How do you like them apples?
• Off to the mountains for the Men's Downhill. This event is always exciting because downhill skiers are crazy. Examples: the first American to go down is Bryce Bennett. His wife Kelley is wearing a heart monitor so they can measure her pulse. Why not put it on him? Because crazy people don't have high pulse rates. Swiss skier Marco Odermatt hits 90 mph. His teammate, Franjo Von Allmen is even faster. Even the cameras are crazy this year, because now they have a drone. It can barely keep up as both it and the skiers are flying down the mountain.
• Mike Tirico is in Santa Clara, California talking about the Super Bowl. What is this? Fluff? I guess so. It's not events, so that's my only option. We all know the Super Bowl is tomorrow, Mike. You don't need to remind us.
• Italian skier Matteo Franzoso died while training last September, so his teammate Giovanni Franzone is dedicating his race to him. Don't be crazy, Giovanni. He isn't, and finishes second.
• Around the games! Women's hockey: the US beats Finland, 5-0. Women's free ski: communist traitor Eileen Gu falls on her first run. Yay! But then she recovers for her second run. Boo!
• Back to figure skating, with the Free Dance portion of the Team Event. This is ice dancing, not ice skating, explains Johnny, who then rattles off a few reasons the two are different. I won't bore you with those reasons, because other than "no jumping" they mean nothing to me. I can't tell the difference.
• Fluff time! We don't even get fluff about American ice dancers Madison Chock and Evan Bates. We get fluff about their moms. Breaking news: they're big fans of their kids. It took three minutes to say that.
• A bunch of skaters go first, but we – and NBC – really only care about Chock and Bates. And here they are, skating pasodoble-style to a Flamenco version of The Rolling Stones' "Paint It Black." Tara loves them. Johnny loves them. Who am I to disagree? They finish in first. I'm sure their moms are happy.
• It's time for snowboarding at the Men's Big Air competition. They've got a drone in this event, too. Flying alongside a spinning snowboarder is spectacular. Ollie Martin from Vail messed up on his first run, but got good jumps on his second and third attempts, so he's in second place now. Will it hold up? Oooo... no. He gets passed by two other jumpers, so he finishes fourth.
• Let's check in on Lindsey Vonn. About eight days ago, she tore the ACL in her left knee. Now she's taking a practice run on the Women's Downhill, which will happen tomorrow. I tore my ACL once. Did I ski in an Olympic downhill race eight days later? I don't recall exactly, but I'm pretty sure I spent most of my time watching TV because it was a pain just to get out of the recliner. Maybe there was an Olympic downhill in there somewhere, but I wouldn't count on it.   
• Medal time! Francesca Lollobrigida gets to hear the Italian national anthem play for her gold medal. In case you didn't know it from previous Olympic Watches, members of Team Rockwood are big fans of athletes singing their national anthem when they win. If there is ever a time to be singing your national anthem, standing on a podium after winning a gold medal for your country is that time. Does she sing? Yes! Well done, Francesca! Italy should be proud.

---

D-O-Double G is Double-A-R-P-ing his way through these fluff interviews. It's only a matter of time before he starts offering these baby-faced Olympians ribbon candy before he talks to them. I can't wait! See you tomorrow!       

Back to home