Wednesday, February 11, 2026

They've got the looks that kill.

The motley crews of ice skaters seem to have a lot of murder on their minds. I guess that's what happens when you always talk about "killing it."

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• We go right to the mountain for the final run of Women's Mogul skiing. Liz Lemley from Colorado is first up. For us, that is. She's bib number 4 so NBC has skipped some people. That's fine. We don't care about them anyway. The mogul event is both timed and judged, and Liz moves into first. Her teammate Jaelin Kauf is next. Will the US put two people on the podium? Scoring for this event is kind of like figure skating for me: falling bad, everything else… meh? But you know what is great? More drones! I'm seeing lots of stories about the Olympic drones now, so it's not just me that is noticing them. The scores are in and Kauf is now in second place! Just one skier to go,Jakara Anthony from Australia, the defending Olympic champion. OH! She doesn't fall, but she gets tangled in her skis and ruins her run. US finishes gold-silver!
• We stay in the mountains for the Men's Super-G. The first American up is Ryan Cochran-Siegle. The drone spectacularly chases him down the run. And he finishes in first! Out of three skiers so far. It's early. Don't get to excited. Franjo Von Allman of Switzerland is next. Let's give him some fluff! He likes adventure, riding ATVs, and squatting 507 pounds in the gym. Who would ever have thought that a crazy downhill skier was a party bro? He's a fast party bro. He's now in first place and RCS drops to second.
• Oooo. Giovanni Franzoni of Italy, second in the Downhill earlier this week, can only manage to get fifth. Is the course getting slower? Marco Odermatt, the supposed best skier in the world, is next, so he gets some fluff. His parents have saved all his medals and keep them in his childhood room. Now they're all looking at a photo album together. Awwww. So cute! Look at little Marco! Still fluff.
• It's time for cute little Marco to ski. Dan Hicks says he's the world's most dominant skier. He's been saying that for days. Where are his gold medals, Dan? Not here! Odermatt crosses the line in third. That doesn't sound too dominant to me.
• OH! The next skier up, Dominique Paris from Italy, hits a bump near the top of the course and his ski flies off, sending him sliding down the slope on his stomach. So RCS wins the silver! He's very emotional and his mother, 1972-gold-medalist-in-Women's-Slalom Barbara Ann Cochran is pretty emotional, too. Now this is some quality research: she won her gold 54 years ago today, February 11, 1972. That's a pretty good day for one family.
• Snooping Around Italy: Grandpa Snoop is giving a pep talk to some ice skaters. I'm not sure what he's saying, but they seem to be into it. Probably something about waiting until after their competition for gin and juice.
• Around the Games! Men's hockey started today. Sweden beat Italy. Both men and women competed in the Doubles Luge, which is the most uncomfortable looking sport. No Americans got on the podium there.
• Time to pay the bills with some ice dancing. First up in the free dance are Americans Christina Carreira and Anthony Ponomarenko, skating to music from "Perfume: The Story of a Murderer," a movie about a man who kills women to find the perfect scent. Ooooookay. Their score kills! Well, for now. They're in first until someone else skates.
• Next up: the Spanish pair of Olvia Smart and Tim Dieck. Their outfits are inspired by characters from Dune. Maud'Dib! Their interpretive dance is a killing word. Lots of killing going on here in the otherwise peaceful sport of ice dancing. They move into first.
• Let's eat with Stanley Tucci. Fried Pizza! How did America not invent that? It looks fantastic. I might have to go to Milan just to eat one.
• Americans Emilie Zingas and Vadym Kolesnik and skating to music from "Romeo and Juliet." Lots of death going on in these programs. They end their set by stabbing themselves. Simulated of course. You don't want blood on the ice. And now they move into first place.
• Fluff time! Holy cow! Eric Heiden! Shani Davis! Dan Jansen! NBC is pulling out all the interview stops to have someone talk about Jordan Stolz. Can Stolz win the 1000M Speed Skating race just like all of them did? Let's find out as Snoop watches.
• We'll find out after some fluff, that is. Jordan Stolz grew up in rural Wisconsin with a pond in his backyard. So in the winter, his dad plowed the snow off the frozen pond to make a track and he and his sister started skating. Over the years, he obviously outgrew the pond and had to move to bigger venues. But in the end he says, it just proves that anyone can be an Olympian. Well, anyone with a frozen pond in their backyard.
• And now he's ready to skate on the big pond. Here we go! Stolz starts on the inside against Jenning de Boo of the Netherlands. And breaks the Olympic record, even as de Boo himself skates faster than everyone else has skated tonight. One pair of skaters to go. Can either of them beat Stolz? No! Stolz gets gold!
• Back to ice dancing. Zingas and Kolesnik are in first for now, but there are a lot of pairs left to go and they'll probably get knocked out of the medals. It takes a few pairs, but Piper Gilles and Paul Poirier of Canada do an amazing job to "Starry Night" and move into first, guaranteeing themselves a medal.
• Chock and Bates time! They're skating to "Paint It Black" again. And again they skate flawlessly. Will it be enough for first place? Yes! So they're guaranteed at least a silver. Only Laurence Fournier Beaudry and Guillaume Cizeron from France can beat them now, and they're up next. How well will they score? Beats me. They didn't fall, and that's the only thing I know. They looked very good. My hunch is that they started higher than Chock and Bates and they'll probably finish higher than them. But we'll see in a minute. Yep. They won by a point. Silver for Chock and Bates.
• We're kissed and cried out, so let's go back to the mountains for Women's Snowboard Halfpipe qualifying round. American Chloe Kim leads the way after qualifying, with teammates Maddie Mastro and Bae Kim. We'll see them again tomorrow.
• Lindsey Vonn update! She's got a giant metal contraption holding her leg together, but she's doing fine. As fine as you can be doing when you have a giant metal contraption holding your leg together.
• The US is moving up the medal count. Now they're third with only one fewer medal than both Norway and Italy. We need Ben Ogden to beat some more Norwegian cross-country skiers.
• Medal ceremony for Jordan Stolz. Will he sing? Both he and his dad have their hands over their hearts, but neither one sings. Maybe that's just not their thing. You have time to learn for the next medal, Jordan!

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You know what's weird? None of the female partners in the top three ice dancing pairs cried after their performance, but two of the three men did. The only one who didn't was the one that won. Is there a lesson here? Probably not. It was just something I noticed. Who knows what I'll notice tomorrow? See you then!                  

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